再难，也要熬

So, my oldest dog left me in the morning of my first common test paper. I hadn't started studying then, it was tough. My heart broke into more than a million pieces... it was sudden, too sudden.

Well, no matter what I still had to go home, get my emotions stabilized and start studying. Tough times are real tough. I had a hard time studying, hope my bullshitting for the paper works. Anyways, Just thought of him so I penned this down here.

Lucky Boy, I MISS YOU ):

July 2002 - June 2013

Lucky Boy, Thanks for being my armour all these while. I knew I had you whenever I was afraid, being home alone especially.

I just have to have you close to me and everything is well. Still trying to get use to mornings without your greeting!

My courage went down with you. Been missing you every day since you left, will never forget you! You're such a dear, take care wherever you are now, remember to look for your doggy parents! (:

You're one lucky boy who's had a proper send-off.
Good Night, have a good sleep!
Love you always.

1/4 way through

Common test starting on Saturday. How nice eh, today's lecture included somemore ):
Guess it's proven when I'm stressed my anger management, annoyance and patience tolerance level goes to zero. Really can't control, every little shit annoys the hell out of me :/

Yesterday head pounded like crazy, took me so long before I could sleep and it still feels like the headache is coming back anytime. Oh wells.

I.AM.TIRED.

Anyways, I had more feel to blog just now. HAHA!
Got presentation slides to prepare for. BYE!

Year 3

Year 3 is hectic. Now I get what it means. An assignment due 12nn and I'm not near complete. Decided to opt for late submission so I can come up with some better quality report to submit. But that also means 5 marks deducted already. Have to try and make up for that then! 5 marks is quite a lot :/ On that note, my Intro to Landscape Design assignment 1 part 2 is not even done. Oh help me. Well at least I just completed assignment 2 *phew* The plate's piling up!! Need to get focused.

It's kinda hard to tune back to study life after tuning into work life ):

Didn't get through A Capella auditions but that's okay, after going for the auditions I decided I've no more time for another CCA. Heh. So yupp I've no down feelings for that (:

Taking a break from working at Ben & Jerry's for 2 weeks! I think I'm getting pretty tired and work doesn't feel the same anymore. It's either I quit and maybe expand into small baking business, or I'm not going to give as much shifts as I used to. I'm really tired and I don't want to screw up this last yr of my poly life. At the same time, I need $$$$. More tuition jobs? I don't mind really (;

Shall sign off now!
Till the next time

A Capella

Just thought I haven't blogged in a while so I'm here (:

Went for A Capella auditions earlier today. Quite screwed up! Hahaha, too nervous. But, yeah it doesn't matter cos if I get in, I get in. If I don't, it doesn't affect me either. LOL!

Year 3 is rather busy and its kinda annoying ): I haven't adjusted yet. I can't wait to graduate already... not even in the second semester yet.

Procrastination at its best, 30% assignment which was due latest Tuesday has yet to be submitted. Gotta complete it before 3pm tomorrow, cos after that I've got work. Damned. Down with flu, gonna sleep! Night world (:

鬼仔 Ghost Child

This is a pretty back dated post!!

Attended Ghost Child gala premier some time back. Must say that the movie is not a bad local production! Though it's quite predictable on what's going to happen next, it's a pretty good horror movie to go for (:
Hope you managed to catch it as well!

Haven't been watching any movies recently, holidays are more of work. Today was my last day at work at the childcare. School's starting on Monday! :/

Good Friday

I'm back!!

Been busy with work and stuffs. Hehe! Results were better than expected so I'm good :D

Anyways this holidays has been really fruitful! It's not the start of year 3 and I can't wait to graduate already! Hope school's gonna be good to me!!

On another note, HAPPY BIRTHDAY SIS! :D Yeah you don't read this space but....
I'm kinda addicted to drawing on cakes now that I drew one for my sis! Time to squeeze out those creativity juices (;

It felt good when my sis totally understood why I drew 蜡笔小新 holding a banana. The minute she saw it, she laughed!! Haha sis's thoughts alike :P

2XU run coming up on sunday! Yes, I haven't trained for it. But it's ok!! Finisher tee is the goal!!!

Don't know what else to blog about, I've got many things actually, but no feel to blog them yet. Maybe next time :P

Have a GOOD FRIDAY all!!! Enjoy your public holiday! (:

Final Exams

First paper starting on 20th! And... nothing new, I haven't started studying.

The weather's been so good for sleeping recently, plus all the CNY feels. Actually, there wasn't much of the CNY atmosphere till I started on blackjack 2 days ago and mahjong yesterday. LOL!

Study mood I need you now!!

2 more days to the big 2! (:

Shall blog again after exams! I have lots to blog about but I haven't found the proper time to sort out everything!!

HAHA I just realised! I blogged 5 days to start of CT and it's now 5 days to start of exams!

Common Test Results & Some Thoughts...

First post of the year....

Yupp got common tests papers back on the 1st and 2nd week of school. Results all within a B range. Actually, one C+ one C and the other four B. Not very good ah, but I'm all like 0.5 - 1 mark away from the next grade. For a super unprepared me who sat for the paper, I would say it's pretty well done. Lowest grade was my law paper, as expected. Got 61/100 and indeed the 30mark essay question killed me... only got 10/30, and that's with absolutely 0 memory regarding the topic. Just imagine I studied the decision making steps. Would've made a difference. Anyway, no point crying over spilled milk!

Something happened again just now, which is probably why I'm back here posting. Just feel touched and thankful to know that there are people there for me, understanding what I'm going through, although the person is my sibling.

Need to sort out my thoughts, need to grow. Immature thoughts I don't need you anymore good bye and never see you again (:

Not going to blog much for this post, skipped project meeting today cos of what happened. Oh wells.

I'm still looking at a better 2013!

It's a wrap for 2012!

Hello! I'm back!

Been working this holidays. Both at Ben & Jerry's and at home. My idiotic maid has gone back and I'm helping out with household chores. Haha

Really tired. But oh wells. 2012 has been a year full of ups and downs, just like the past few years. I really hope all these would be over soon. Don't know how I've been living like that for a few years already. It's tough, but I've to hang on. Sometimes I think to myself, it's good to have gone through some stuffs like this. Then, I wouldn't be so easily beaten by setbacks in future! Everything you go through, is a form of training.

Working tomorrow again! 10am - 5pm! It's quite fun working at Ben & Jerry's actually. Although you've to clean up and stuff also lah. I need to lose weight! Really need to lose weight! Like not a bit. LOL! Okay I'm not too fond of New Year Resolutions cos I never follow things as planned, other than at work or work-related. I mean, work as in those I get money. Not school work! lololol

I'm going to try one New Year Resolution for 2013, just one. Which is, to lose weight!!! #determined. It's gonna be tough, cos I get free ice cream at Ben & Jerry's, like one scoop every time I work. But that's more than enough to get me putting on weight constantly. Haha.

After every complain, I will do some reflection and learn something from the "lesson". Will continue to do that so just let me rant ok? Hehe. One thing I love about twitter, it lets me rant on the spot! Quite tough to blog using phone uh. Heh. Yeah whole world sees it, so? Just my thoughts right. Although sometimes rubbish thoughts come out. Oh well!!

Shall try to end 2012 on a good note!!!
And for one thing, I'm not feeling sour about having to work tomorrow (:

HOHOHO

Merry Christmas everyone!! Parents and brothers will be back past midnight! Which is Christmas!
Haha don't have any plans, don't really celebrate Christmas. Shall improve on my baking skills then!!! Been making pastries this holidays! Having so much fun ^_^ I'm starting to LOVE  baking!! I used to bake, but didn't really fancy. Just baked when I had the mood. This holidays I'm like making pastry almost every other day. I think I'm gonna try coming up with my own pastries really soon! Invention of recipes hehehehe (;

Baked cinnamon buns today. Supposed to be cinnamon buns, but it turned  out to be half bun half biscuit. Tastes not bad though!!! Hehehe cinnamon rolls :D Shall perfect it!

Enjoy your Christmas if you do celebrate! If not, enjoy your day (:

Heheheh Christmas colours!

Christmas Eve!!

24th is tomorrow. And I'm gonna meet my tutor at 10am for project meeting. wow -.-
Oh well this module really sucks!!! ):
Can't wait for this semester to be over, then I'm left with 1 more year till I graduate!!! I hope I do well this semester. Really determines my level of motivation for the 2 remaining semesters. But then again, just hoping and not working on it will not bring me anywhere. Just so sian, I wanna earn lots and lots of $$$$$$$$$$$$$$ 钱不是万能的，但是！没有钱万万不能！！！then how? work lor!!! Gonna have to start juggling between work, tutoring and school starting Jan. Wish myself well man!!! Hope 2013 is gonna be a good year!! PLS BE A GOOD YEAR!!! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!!!

The day has come! 21/12/12

Hahahaha yes. Today is the day the Mayans say "the world is going to end". 7.11pm Singapore time. We'll see.

Blogging cos I'm pretty bored, and this may well be my last post of my life. LOL!
My parents and 2 brothers went to BKK this morning. And they're coming back on Monday. Not much thoughts, just blogging for the fun of blogging (;

Sin Hwee's coming over and we're gonna make Jelly Hearts! I'm thinking of making cinnamon rolls today too! But Sin Hwee no like cinnamon ):

Ok nth much to blog about, till then!

Jelly Hearts ♥

Holidays started yesterday! and I was working yesterday too!

Found a job at Ben & Jerry's! Don't think I mentioned it yet. Working at the united square outlet. Barney show has been on going and all the kidsss!!!! Haven't spotted a cute one though!! and it's really busy there on Saturdays :/

And.... I made Jelly Hearts yesterday!! Decided to stop taking them from suppliers and do them myself instead. Taking from suppliers I need to travel 2 times... haha! Really happy that it's considered successful for a first-timer! It's not entirely successful cos the base wasn't successful!!! The base wasn't firm ): And, so fail cos the base supposed to be the easiest part. LOL! Anyway, I'm selling these Jelly Hearts at my blogshop Magna Deals! (Click to go there!) It's more expensive then at other blogshops cos I use expensive, good quality strawberries and other good quality products, even the cheese used! So, yeah quality price for quality goods ok (; Please support!!!
My blogshop is currently undergoing revamp but you definitely still can place orders :D
And products used are HALAL!!!! cfm plus chop! I know most are concerned with gelatine... I used beef gelatine so definitely safe. And they are certified halal slaughtered. And if you think buddhist cannot take beef, yah I know I don't take beef also. BUT mentos, a lot of other sweets use beef gelatine also so if you're that strict with yourself, don't take those sweets!!! I bet you do. HAHAHA :P
Yeah anyway, I'm making another batch now!! Hope the base turns out fine!!! *cross fingers*

First attempt!

Gonna watch INCANTO tonight! Some magic show at RWS. Hope it's gonna be good! :D
Got free tickets (;

Talking about free stuff, I have forgone many nuffnang benefits cos I had been busy with common tests ):
There was a chance to win wreck it ralph tickets!!! ):
Anyway, it's over to yeah. Another chance will come by and I'm so gonna grab it!!!

I want $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$. I wish money can fall from the sky!!!!
Marrying a rich man's son illusion coming.... LOL!! Need to stop daydreaming. How's that gonna happen. Now focus on losing some fats first. Dad's friend just said I look like I put on weight and I so know I did!!! How to lose weight??? Everytime I try, I put on weight. Everytime I ignore, I lose weight. What in the world is happening to me?? LOL!

Shall end off here~ Tada!!

Countdown: 1 day to END of CT

You got cheated! My previous post wasn't the last countdown post~
This is! For the year of 2012.

Tomorrow's the day!!!! Last paper, hope it's going to be an easy paper. Today's paper was... okay at least I wrote along the lines; going the correct way. Oh well, lesson learnt: Attend lecture since my tutor isn't reliable enough. So much for "Lecture 4&5 is very important!" End up, what came out? MCQ question (it's really question, I think max 2 questions)! Okay getting over it but yeah, the 30 marks essay question would have killed me ENTIRELY if I didn't have a basic skill of bullshitting.

My dog needs to get fluffy again!

-sidetrack my mood got killed-

A lot of things running through my life recently. There's so much one can do, there's so much I can do. The past 4 years has been the rough patch for my life to date, and I'm still going through this rough patch. There's so much I can contain, and it has been overflowing. All these building up, feeling so suffocated yet can't say a thing. 吭都不能吭一声。It's been stressful for all of us, I know. But there is a basic responsibility each of us should take and fulfill. So what if only 1 or 2 is fulfilling his/her responsibilities. I can actually say, just by you not fulfilling your responsibility, even having everyone else fulfill their responsibility is not enough. It's never going to be enough. I've sunken into this pile of stress so long, so deep that I'm starting to feel numb. I'm starting to feel myself fall apart, that I really really hope the end of the world is true. If the end of the world is true coming 21st December, all these would end immediately.

I've said before I'm thankful for this situation to bring us closer. I don't regret making that statement. It's just that this is dragging so long, too long for one to tolerate and bear. Even the strongest wall tumble with a strike of a Tornado or Hurricane. I have no longer any idea of what struck me, something so hard, and I am strong enough to remain standing. Soon enough, I will fall like the concrete walls. So much for being grouped with the "strawberry generation". I can proudly tell you I AM NOT ONE OF THE MANY STRAWBERRIES. I am aware that I am NOT, I repeat: NOT, the only one that has suffered, that has been through difficulties in life. But if you were to put yourself in my situation now, you would rather remain in yours.

A lot of things can't be said, can't be poured out. There's so much I want to do, but there are always limits. I'm glad I started blogging way back in 2007. 
[disappeared for a while; was reading my older posts]

Posts were happier back then so #innocent and #naive at that time. It's luckier to be happy with no particular reason. If there's a reason to be happy, the reason may be the same reason that cause you to be unhappy after. Life is so complicated, I'm so lost.
找不到出路 

Miss those times

I've made many wrong steps in life T_T Not studying hard and started playing, caused my Chemistry, Math and Additional Math to drop from A1 standard to fail standard throughout Sec 4. Lucky enough to obtain B3 for chem and A2 for both math at O levels. Then came JC, was scoring As for math and chemistry. End up leh, made them drop to a U. Transferred to poly and been scoring decent grades for my efforts, though GPA has been downward sloping. 孔子公一直以来都对我很好。。。I have been doing last minute studying / not studying enough and getting decent grades for my efforts put in. Friends study way harder and get similar / slightly better results. It's a point to feel blessed in. 知足常乐很容易说，不容易得到。Yes, it's easy to say "be contented, feel happy with the smallest thing in life", but it's not easy to do or achieve. I've been experiencing so much, the most in my life, for the past few years. I'm getting sick and tired of everything. I'm even getting sick and tired of studying. Sometimes, can't even study in peace.
心不能承担那么大的压力。。。感觉自己一天比一天弱。

I feel thankful for my life experience, but it's getting too much for me to handle. 艰难的路可以让人成长，更坚强。坚持不容易，可是也许是唯一的方法。