This is! For the year of 2012.
Tomorrow's the day!!!! Last paper, hope it's going to be an easy paper. Today's paper was... okay at least I wrote along the lines; going the correct way. Oh well, lesson learnt: Attend lecture since my tutor isn't reliable enough. So much for "Lecture 4&5 is very important!" End up, what came out? MCQ question (it's really question, I think max 2 questions)! Okay getting over it but yeah, the 30 marks essay question would have killed me ENTIRELY if I didn't have a basic skill of bullshitting.
My dog needs to get fluffy again!
-sidetrack my mood got killed-
A lot of things running through my life recently. There's so much one can do, there's so much I can do. The past 4 years has been the rough patch for my life to date, and I'm still going through this rough patch. There's so much I can contain, and it has been overflowing. All these building up, feeling so suffocated yet can't say a thing. 吭都不能吭一声。It's been stressful for all of us, I know. But there is a basic responsibility each of us should take and fulfill. So what if only 1 or 2 is fulfilling his/her responsibilities. I can actually say, just by you not fulfilling your responsibility, even having everyone else fulfill their responsibility is not enough. It's never going to be enough. I've sunken into this pile of stress so long, so deep that I'm starting to feel numb. I'm starting to feel myself fall apart, that I really really hope the end of the world is true. If the end of the world is true coming 21st December, all these would end immediately.
I've said before I'm thankful for this situation to bring us closer. I don't regret making that statement. It's just that this is dragging so long, too long for one to tolerate and bear. Even the strongest wall tumble with a strike of a Tornado or Hurricane. I have no longer any idea of what struck me, something so hard, and I am strong enough to remain standing. Soon enough, I will fall like the concrete walls. So much for being grouped with the "strawberry generation". I can proudly tell you I AM NOT ONE OF THE MANY STRAWBERRIES. I am aware that I am NOT, I repeat: NOT, the only one that has suffered, that has been through difficulties in life. But if you were to put yourself in my situation now, you would rather remain in yours.
A lot of things can't be said, can't be poured out. There's so much I want to do, but there are always limits. I'm glad I started blogging way back in 2007.
[disappeared for a while; was reading my older posts]
Posts were happier back then so #innocent and #naive at that time. It's luckier to be happy with no particular reason. If there's a reason to be happy, the reason may be the same reason that cause you to be unhappy after. Life is so complicated, I'm so lost.
找不到出路
Miss those times
I've made many wrong steps in life T_T Not studying hard and started playing, caused my Chemistry, Math and Additional Math to drop from A1 standard to fail standard throughout Sec 4. Lucky enough to obtain B3 for chem and A2 for both math at O levels. Then came JC, was scoring As for math and chemistry. End up leh, made them drop to a U. Transferred to poly and been scoring decent grades for my efforts, though GPA has been downward sloping. 孔子公一直以来都对我很好。。。I have been doing last minute studying / not studying enough and getting decent grades for my efforts put in. Friends study way harder and get similar / slightly better results. It's a point to feel blessed in. 知足常乐很容易说，不容易得到。Yes, it's easy to say "be contented, feel happy with the smallest thing in life", but it's not easy to do or achieve. I've been experiencing so much, the most in my life, for the past few years. I'm getting sick and tired of everything. I'm even getting sick and tired of studying. Sometimes, can't even study in peace.
心不能承担那么大的压力。。。感觉自己一天比一天弱。
I feel thankful for my life experience, but it's getting too much for me to handle. 艰难的路可以让人成长，更坚强。坚持不容易，可是也许是唯一的方法。
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