坚

强

我一定要坚强。。你不会拉倒我的。不管你讲什么，我想对你说声谢谢。。因为你让我找到了我真正的好朋友，让我知道谁在我面前办好人，知道什么就转过头告诉你/别人。我不会让你把我拉下去，我会让你知道做这一些是没有用的。最终，人们还是会看你的品格。。双头蛇的人，就算有好友，也很难使别人相信他。

yOOHENTHRAN IS A FUCKER

I BLOODY HATE yOO! omg.. BLACK DAYS are the worst. what's ur bloody problem? ppl very free isit? FUCK U LUH. oh wait, i don't wanna fuck u least i get some disease :O ARGH!!! maybe you just don't realise how retarded those things are, maybe you just THINK they're oh so "useful" =.= in what way? watch and don't listen, got any diff? NO =.= WTF IS UR PROBLEM. when you make me hate you so dearly, don't ever think of making me change my point of view again. i'm serious. whenever you come, it's a BLACK DAY! argh.. monday blue + black. how sucky is that. i so don't wanna see you tmr. cos i fucking hate you. i just don't feel like doing ur work, then u'll start nagging ur black way again. i know tons who dislike u, stop thinking you're oh-so-good cos U'RE NOT.

FUCK OFF. I HATE __ , ____, ___.
stop being such a proud ass.. ur predictions won't last. one day u'll nvr stand up again.

i seriously think i hate my life

DO I REALLY WANNA LIVE ON?

wth is this.. what's wrong with humans. I ALREADY HAVE MATH TUITION RIGHT. and not like my tutor is not gd or something.. i'm not failing my tests right? even if i get 29/30 u'll go, why cannot get full marks? wth is wrong with u. ur precious son's results is not even up to standard, u don't bother to find another tutor for him. WHY THE HELL MUST U FORCE ME TO GO FOR UR FREAKING TUITION AT JURONG which is like unknown? =.= i'm not saying there aren't gd tutors at jurong but u show me how "known" this freaking person is luh! "IF YOU DON'T GO DON'T ASK MONEY FROM ME" is money all you think of? what's ur problem? u think everyone is like ur precious son who asks for money before he agrees to go for tuition? oh please, i'm not like tt. maybe i'm stressed, maybe i'm not. but think, i nvr liked crying in front of anyone.. why would i break down for no gd reason and sometimes i don't even know why i'm crying?! say that i'm stressed.. u'll go on to say "how can you be stressed when you ask for money and go out and enjoy everyday?!" and "playing computer called stress?!" and "nvr help with anything, uniform everything no need to iron all ready for you what more you want". THINK luh.. u do that for your precious son, it's not all the time that my uniform is ironed, ur precious son uniform not ironed, i'm ironing my uniform.. u'll just go "faster, i need to iron marcus's uniform" ya.. so his uni need to iron mine don't need :)

Ur precious son give you attitude all the time, u don't do anything. "Marcus! U dare to talk to me like that?! I'm not going to care about ur things anymore!" nxt min, marcus you want to eat or not? =.= eh c'mon.. i ask for money to watch movie, max also give me $20. ur precious son spends $10 in one day and u still give him $$ the nxt day. what is this? I'm just a bastard who is wasting ur freaking money right? whenever i ask you for money u'll lose a piece of meat right? whenever ur precious son is pissed with me he'll say i'm not his sister cos i'm blood type O and all of you are A right. then all go against me together right. you think i don't feel hurt isit? think i don't have feelings is it? i just don't say anything. i cannot even vent my anger at home or in school.. how much can a person tolerate? just as much as you have tolerated enough, others have limit too. my phone bill overlap 2-3 months become $100+ you go.. why so expensive?! have you ever thought why? u always make us call while u, keep ur outgoing calls to the minimum, so obviously ur phone bill will not exceed. so long as we exceed, u complain and complain. what is this?! so long as i'm on the computer, i'm playing games. you think now still like ur studying days so easy and don't need computer uh? wtf documentary.. have to do 2 somemore. how the hell will it freaking help?! i still don't get it. I'M HATING EVERYTHING. GETTING IRRITATED @ EVERYTHING. WTF. LIFE SUCKS. ISN'T TIME TO JUST END ALL THESE AGONY?

i voice out my opinions, vice principal unhappy say wanna meet parents.. then b'cos of that, u go "blablabla u prove u can study luh! how're ur results?! so bad until principal want to see me?" wtf.. u think she saw the other parents meh?! just cos i told her "the school only cares about results" she want to see u =.= whatever luh.. isn't it true? they'll care abt other school kids meh? NO. why, because their score won't affect our school results =.= isn't it freaking obvious? why do you think neighbourhood schools are better? because they don't only care about results.. they care about the welfare of their students, they care about their students. unlike "elite" schools who mostly don't have values at all. who claims to be "so good". who puts up a front for outsiders.

yes, you get stress everywhere you go. but hello? you urself know how much u can tolerate.. same goes for others.

jet bit me! :(

AWWWW....

omg my dog like freaking bit me and my left hand is kinda numb :/ i'm bored.. bored of studying :/ but i've no choice :(

my life is being controlled

ROBOTS?

don't we sometimes feel that our lives, humans, are being controlled as robots. we're not being controlled by other ppl, but by rules that are made and implemented by the government, people and society. why make live so difficult for ourselves?
without rules = no peace?
too many strict rules = happiness?
isn't neccessarily that way ain't it? why are peoples' lives taken as robot's lives. do we function like robots? are we excused from studies like robots? the answer is NO. humans have brains that are usually and most likely functional, and thus we have our personal opinions. if you wish to listen to things and lies that are pleasant to the ear, go ahead. but i won't give them to u, because i don't lie for no good reason. i can't say i haven't lied before, because i doubt one has never told a white lie.

1) i do not wish to go for study camp and i don't see the need to see u (i know you have this thinking though you haven't called for me)

2) seeing u makes me feel as if i'm pregnant (if you read between the lines, like how u're supposed to do, u'll get what i'm trying to say)

3) we have minds that have certain limits to rmb certain things, teachers have 1 main focused subject, we have 7/8/9/10. beat that.

4) why are teachers always allowed reasons and excuses while students are not allowed? "when we forget things we can go down and take, but when you forget things you're going to go home and take is it?!" -- quoted from a certain teacher
main point is: aren't u still forgetting something and wasting time? then, it goes on.. we don't have time to finish blablabla.. you have to come back for extra lessons (don't they ever realise sometimes they waste more time than we do??)

5) don't give me that arrogant face cos whenever i see u, my day is spoilt =.= if i do get points of the book, i don't see why u have to keep picking on me for not reading the whole book. Point is: events are roughly remebered.. who remembers exact quotes? when papers are set, books can be side by side with examiner, so obviousy they'll know the answer! ain't that common sense?

6) don't you just think in the modern world, humans are treated like robots? demands are there, told to do this and that, without complains. BUT aren't we made to have feelings, emotions, personal views & opinions? so why can't we express ourselves. you have your ways, we have our ways. i don't wanna be similar with you, thanks :)

7) i'm just venting out because the sudden feel of dropping to the ground level and losing my soul is approaching, or should i say it has arrived. i'm nagged @ by 10/11pm? that's freaking early and if i haven't completed my work by then, i'll be further nagged @. hello? don't they ever realise life's not so easy anymore? we can't sleep at like 8pm anymore? we have workloads piling up to the height of mt everest! be it in the working world or studying. won't one just feel exhausted? then fall ill, more work starts to pile. doesn't this just go in a cycle. maybe that's why ppl aren't living as healthily anymore.


i'm just kinda vexed and fed up or maybe stressed (nvr dared think that way cos no one will agree with me). sometimes i'll just break down without a reason.. scary. nvr happened, controlled my emotions for 15yrs. and i had to break down at this point of time. i get irritated with slight and small little things, no joke. i find it so irritating! irritated with myself even. why do i just feel sleepy at the sight of certain subjects. not like i can do anything about it. when i hate/dislike someone, it takes 10 000 yrs to change my mind, which means it will nvr happen cos by then i'd have turned into fossil fuels and being used at petrol for cars. or maybe by then, cars are no longer available but some humans with wings just like birds =.= or even better, teleporting devices.. within a sec reach to ur destination. what more can we say but conclude that rules imply:
humans = robots

*ppl who made rules and indulged in modernisation are mad. destroying earth with globalisation, geenhouse gases. destroying trees. WHY! trees are nice.. animals are nicer than humans. at least they don't harm u for no reason. they harm to survive, and we humans are the most cruel! we kill most animals, we eat whatever freak meat.. even snails! ants!
most final conclusion of humans: we are beasts, robots, blablabla

moodless

儅一個人失去信心，

你認爲他會做得更好嗎？

哎，不知道搞什麽，突然閒又酸的感覺。怎麽會在這個時候在部落格更新詞條 :/ 誰了以整個下午啦，什麽功課也沒做。死了啦。每天根本都沒心讀書，就因爲那些某某人s。。 有夠過分的，只以爲什麽事都是你對，雙方都有錯，何必多此一舉。如果你那麽空閒，爲何不能找別的事去做？ 別再煩我了啦！我已經被你們煩夠了！你們不覺得無聊我替你們感到無聊。我不像回到學校看到你們的臉，不可以嗎？直到每天要面對你們已經夠煩了，你還要我假期時回到學校給你們監督我讀書？就算我笨得再離譜，我沒那麽笨好不好。你們用腦想一想都知道，每個學生有自己的特色，爲何整天拿學生來比？這樣做你會快了一點嗎？無聊。
我快要崩潰了！


我真想見某某人，
也許他能讓我真正的微笑。。。

ANYWAY, here are the pics taken on 26th April :

look down on ppl? =.=

SO WHAT?

please luh.. so what if i'm going to study with a friend from a school somewhere around Jurong? DOES NOT MEAN SHE CANNOT HELP ME, DOES NOT MEAN SHE'S INFERIOR! =.= she's smart can? don't judge a book by its cover.. don't judge a person by the school he/she go to! i don't want to go for study camp so you should stop forcing me, and i don't see what rights you have to know my schedule if i don't want to give it to you. yes, you're just doing ur job so i'm TRYING not to make things difficult for you.

teacher: "you don't want to go for study camp uh?"
me: ya
teacher: ah why?
me: i'm having crash course with my math tutor within may to june
teacher: then from july onwards? you're not coming?
me: i don't think so
teacher: are you sure?
me: ya i'm studying with my friend
teacher: what friend
me: outside friend?
teacher: ya from where
me: other schools?
teacher: ya what school?
me: somewhere near Jurong?
teacher: hello this is scgs u know? u don't want to study with ur friends here and you want to study with someone outside? so you think ur friend from outside can help you excel and your sch mates cannot?
me: uh
teacher: u ask ur mum to send me ur schedule.. if not how am i suppose to answer
me: uh ok [ thinking to myself: =.= ]

=.= pls luh.. just because her school is not the so called "elite school", it doesn't say that she's not smart or what k. HAVE SOME BRAINS LUH. omg.. can humans not be so =.=
HUMANS = BEASTS

累

很累，很累

這幾個星期好累啊！什麽都不想管了，真無聊！哎，不講道理的認真多。。去吃大變啦！pek chek
搞什麽。不想想，但就想起來，真無奈。不管啦！你們想做什麽就去做吧。。隨你便

[ 歌曲：曙光

我还在想哪个方向
才能找到希望曙光
没有力量心情很慌
连问题都无法阻挡
我在想找方向希望的曙光
而你是我的翅膀
带我飞翔抚我伤
你是我的力量
赐我勇敢与刚强
我还在想哪个方向
才能找到希望曙光
没有力量心情很慌
连问题都无法阻挡
我在想找方向希望的曙光
而你是我的翅膀
带我飞翔抚我伤
你是我的力量
赐我勇敢与刚强

我在想找方向希望的曙光
而你是我的翅膀
带我飞翔抚我伤
你是我的力量
赐我勇敢与刚强

歌手：Tank ]

每當孤單的時候 望著那反方向的鐘
尋找那暗號讓我回到過去的生活。。
我们都看见结局在改变，
只是安静的听我埋怨不再赔着笑脸

現在只想著一個人。。
很想，很想
。
。。
。。。
。。。。
。。。
。。
。
見他。。。

misses

I MISS YOU.

I REALLY DO.
WILL . YOU . LET . ME . SEE . YOU . AGAIN...

SOON?

ahhh!! school will always be bad whenever i hear *** HAHA! whatever luh.. labour day tmr! not = rest, but = LABOUR :( study study study.. is all i hear from now. sigh. why is life just ??? so... practical. sad isn't it? AGREE WITH ME :) hah [since someone says i dictate what people should say to me]

wheee!! i haven't told my mum but i've decided not to go for study camp [i know my home phone will start ringing non-stop for some particular reason, but i don't care.. if i think i won't be able to study under that environment, i won't].. because, i doubt i'll be able to study in THAT ENVIRONMENT =.= i'd prefer to study on my own.. plus, i'm having a crash course in June! which will leave me no time for stupid study camp, which i don't think will be of much help. so... no study camp! self-discipline it shall be. i'll try my best :) KAY FUN LET'S WORK TOGETHER. YOU RAWK! :D okays.. i just felt like posting something and now i'm done.. i'll upload 26th April's photos SOON okays!!! SRRY!! :/

the day i see you again will be the day my heart truly smile again

FUCKED UP SCHOOL LIFE

THINGS SHALL JUST BE KEPT TO MYSELF :)

SCHOOL SERIOUSLY SUCKS LIKE I DON'T KNOW HOW TO EXPLAIN ALREADY. OKAY, FROM NOW ON, I'M NOT GOING TO COMMENT ON WHATEVER YOU SAY. OPINIONS WILL BE KEPT TO MYSELF. PERIOD. NOTHING MORE TO SAY.. WHATEVER SAID WILL BE WRONG ANYWAY.

CA1 nvr pass criteria and you give us the idea of "retaining sec 3". if you don't mean that way, then why after talking to my mum.. she sms me to say that if i don't do well i've to retain sec 3? even my mum interprets this way.. so she's wrong?! there's really nothing more to say.. just voicing out my opinions and such a huge reaction that i'm rude, i'm not facing reality blablabla. yea if i'm not facing reality, i won't be panicking for O levels NOW =.= you don't always have to show ppl how hardworking you are right? wtf. who doesn't want to do well? u right.. i'm sure. irritating luh.. just saying you shouldn't us to think of retaining and be more encouraging right? you don't have to be nice to encourage. you can be harsh while encouraging too you know! i don't dictate what ppl has to say to me.. i'm not in the position to, i don't see what makes you think so. and other ppl doesn't say anything about it doesn't mean i have to keep quiet like them.. though i thought i should have. so you can think u're always right blablabla. i'm sure u're not doing this for the benefit from the school, but i'm sure from most peoples' perspective, you are. CA1 not doing well, didn't clear straight in sec 3, means you think of retaining. not even asking us to aim for O levels or even prelims. just say, oh if you don't do well blablabla retain =.= so that's very nice? ppl will be encouraged or discouraged? u think twice. ppl will study harder or give up? think twice again. whatever u say, i've to agree.. if not i'm wrong. yea ok.. then there's no point asking questions right? say i won't voice out my opinions anymore, nonono it's not the attitude. THEN WHAT YOU WANT ME TO DO? u think this game very fun isit? STANDING ALL ALONE ALL THESE WHILE, NOT BOTHERING MY PARENTS WITH LITTLE THINGS. HOW MUCH LONGER CAN A PERSON TOLERATE.. my tone was harsh, yes. i did apologise didn't i? so that wasn't enough? expect me to kneel down right? not even in ur dreams.. i'm not so low down to that extent. 37 points.. where to go.. i know it can bring me nowhere. so will think of slacking? you? some retarded question. "do you want to do well for Os?" DUH who doesn't. "what does good grades mean?" 7,8 points? "so how far are you from your aim" encouraging or discouraging? asking me to work on or give up since i'm -not up to caliba- i think i was kinda rude, but i did realise it in the end and apologise right? when one person is irritated, since when they'll speak in the right tone. speak for yourself, you won't be speaking in the right tone too. i don't mind the harshness, what haven't i heard before? but hello.. harsh in an encouraging way or harsh to ask us to give up. uh whatever.

whatever i say = wrong.
whatever i interpret = wrong.
I SHALL JUST LEARN TO KEEP EVERYTHING TO MYSELF SO THAT ONE DAY I CAN JOIN IMH :)

ISN'T THERE ALWAYS A LIMIT TO A PERSON'S TOLERANCE?

If you're misunderstood, it's your fault.
If i'm misunderstood, it's my fault.
So we're both at fault.. why does everything seem to be MY fault? =.=

overdue stuffs.. hahaha

LIFE IS SHORT WITH UNFULFILLED DREAMS...

LIFE IS LONG WHEN YOU DON'T HAVE A DREAM...

Okays.. so this is going to be a long and wordy, but also full of pictures post. HAHA! I shall blog about many many things.
First, I just realised I have many pictures in my camera that i did not upload! cos i was lazy to :P so now, i owe many ppl many pictures.. lols. First picture taken with my camera was with Kailin :)

Met Michelle on 22nd FEB. LOL! This year i'm meeting them quite alot eh, i just realised most of my pictures taken are with Michelle and Shermaine! :) haha. Anw, i met them again on the 25th & 28th Feb (to celebrate their birthday), and again on 9th & 19th April! hahahah.. maybe we've met more, just that we didn't take pics so i don't remember! :/ yea went to sing, watch movie and stuff. Going out with them is fun! cos i get to disturb Shermaine :P

*there are lots more pics but.. i cant seem to upload them. facebook :)

Personal Mastery Workshop
Had personal mastery workshop on 26th and 27th Feb rmb.. i'm going to post pics up only. heh. oh yea, i saw Ken @ Bugis on Sunday.. lols.



SPORTS DAY!
i was so crazy ! lols practically went crazy throughout.. can ask Gloria. Think i posted on sports day before so i shall not be so long-winded. Pictures!!

I'm having NAPFA 2.4km run tmr! First lesson of the day!! :/ and I'm still aching from the 5 items :/ too unfit! i needa exercise!! heh. Kailin is going gymming with me! cos she's so skinny alr but she wants to lose her tummy.. which i don't see at all =.= she's mad.. agree with me :)

broke down :/

DO . YOU . KNOW . HOW . MUCH .

I . HATE . YOU .

School SUCKED yesterday.. so embarrassing, shall not think about it anymore. but then again, i can't get over it. what do you expect me to say? you already expect that answer so what more do i have to say.. argh =.= whatever luh huh. make me out to be the worse.. pick on me EVERY lesson. i still don't see the point in telling the whole class where i went after school. it's none of your business. rude, a little. but i was just so irritated ok? =.= i was signing YOUR marksheet.. fine, i've signed it alr right.. don't ask me to sign ur freaking stupid mark sheets. THERE IS SUCH A THING AS DO AND LISTEN AT THE SAME TIME. JUST LIKE HOW WE COPY NOTES AND LISTEN AT THE SAME TIME. WTH?! ARGH.
i seriously do not wish to see you again, but do i have a choice? :(

Thank You Miss Tan

haha!! haven't posted since last thur.. anw, had both english and chinese oral today. it's for prelims :/ i kinda screwed english oral up. chinese oral, hmm.. 躯 yes it's qu!~~ i guessed it correctly!! :) but it's not going to help my english oral marks =.= argh!! screwed CA1.. oh wells, O levels is all that matter right? I BELIEVE I CAN DO IT! :D shall end of here.. oh yea! sports day pics are not uploaded yet, lazy yo. heh :P byebye!

lols

haven't been posting. Oh wells, no mood bah :/ sigh.. this weeks finally not so bad. SS test on tuesday that's it! well, for my class chem girls :)

SCHOOL SUCKS!! :( so presurizing.. which only makes me feel like stop working and rest and relax all i can. ok fine, just an excuse. what choice do i have right? :( OH YA!! i went into the General Office (GO) to handup my edusave form yesterday, then LAN came in and Lyn greeted her.. then she saw me she went like "what are you doing here?" with the "what's ur problem" look =.= OMG SO SICKENING!! which P does that?! mine.. she smiled at Lyn somemore.. wtf?! i didn't even do anything to her pls. so pissing. anw, that pissed me frm that point of time till now. LOL!

Sports day today was just so BORING. yea BORING. nth much to do.. as usual, stay there and picnic. uh =.= yea grow fatter.. and i'm going to the movies l8r. okays.. gtg off soon to complete math homework (HAHA!! subj michelle hates most)
TOMORROW IS A HOLIDAY! i shall be happy for once? or shall i say i shall try to hold my happiness :)

bad mood?

sigh.. i've been so moody lately, wth! not like i want right.. ZzZ
just that, i don't even know my bloody feelings now luh huh... wth! i'm suppose to be studying yet i'm not absorbing anything. how's this going to work out man!!!! I'M SO PISSED OFF WITH MYSELF!!! >:( wth.. geog test tmr, going to re-study 4 chapters cos i don't rmb anything =.= and what's the time now?! 21:38pm.. how am i going to finish 4 chapters. and it's AFTER BREAK. but, it seems like i've no break cause there's chem test on fri. wth?! O levels suck like mad luh.. i really don't feel like doing anything but i don't have a choice. sigh...