clement's gathering

accompanied kaileng to Clement's gathering today. yeap.. can count as successful lah.. though 某某事 happened. it's quite heartening to hear that he was happy to see us there.. yea.
smth happened.. and i don't know if the outcome is what i think, but i feel very bad.. yea :'(

so long nvr see Jiaxi le... i miss him.. haiz...
wish i have some luck, get to see him even if he don't spot me also can...



i'm seriously FUCKING PISSED OFF NOW LAH!!! argh!!! it's just fucking irritating!!! i don't know what's with some people nowadays.. WHY CAN'T I HAVE PEACE?!!! fucking FUCKED UP!! ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!! super pissed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! if you don't stare at me? how you know i'm staring at you?!!! don't always threaten that you want to take away my computer!!! when i transfer ALL my pictures into somewhere else.. YOU'RE WELCOME TO TAKE MY COMPUTER AWAY!!! when i don't come home early, DON'T COMPLAIN!!! if one day i happen to take my own life because of all the problems you're giving me, DON'T REGRET!! i doubt you will anyway.. it doesn't matter whether i exist in ur life.. my life is no longer important. when someone is living in a unhappy world, they might as well not live and end their fucking fucked up life. don't put all ur hopes on me on my studies.. YOU THINK IT'S NOT STRESSFUL?! this kind of fucked up environment!! STOP COMPARING NOW AND LAST TIME!!!!!!! THE STANDARD IS WAY BETTER AND HARDER NOW!!! LAST TIME GOT WAR, NOW HAVE MEH?! STOP GIVING EXCUSES YOU'RE CONCERNED WHATEVER =.= TO ME, YOU'RE JUST PLAIN NAGGING.. WHY CAN'T I LEAD THE LIFE I WANT?! MAYBE SOMETIMES I SHOULDN'T BE DOING EVERYTHING MY WAY.. BUT, IT'S NOT EASY FOR ME TO GET THE MOOD TO STUDY.. I KNOW MYSELF BEST!! FUCKING HELL WHEN I HAVE THE MOOD TO STUDY I GET DISTURBANCE... WHEN I LOSE MY MOOD YOU FREAKING NAG AT ME.. WTH IS THIS MAN!!! LIFE IS JUST PLAIN SUCKY LAH.. WHY DID I EVEN HAVE TO EXIST????? WHY DID I EVEN HAVE TO COME INTO THIS WORLD.. WHO DON'T WANNA DO WELL YOU TELL ME?!! SOMETHING JUST BRINGS ME BACK SOMETIMES.. AND I THINK IT'S THE FUCKING ENVIRONMENT I'M LIVING IN.. THE FUCKING STRESS YOU GIVE ME, THOUGH I MAY NOT LOOK LIKE I'M STRESSED.. I DON'T EVEN KNOW IF I'M STRESSED... BUT I KNOW I FEEL LIKE KILLING MYSELF. SERIOUSLY. THIS STUPID LIFE IS NOT WORKING FOR ME!!! I MIGHT AS WELL JUST END IT. WTH.. WHAT FOR LIVE IN AGONY. I DON'T LIKE TO COME HOME, BECAUSE I DON'T WANNA COME BACK AND REALISE SOME FACTS.. FACTS THAT I KNOW WILL HAPPEN. WTH.. CAN YOU ALL JUST STOP IT. YOU ASK ME THINK OF SAD MEMORIES, I CAN THINK OF IT FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE. HAPPY ONES, I CAN FINISH THINKING BY ONE WEEK. 15 YRS OF MY LIFE.. SAD MEMORIES CAN LAST FOR ONE WEEK ONLY? WAD CRAP IS THAT.. I'M NOT SURE.. BUT IT MAY BE TRUE. WTF LIFE I'M LIVING.. I DON'T WANNA KNOW ANY DEEPER. I JUST KNOW IT FREAKING SUCKS. FRIENDS.. CAN BETRAY YOU ANYTIME.. I'LL JUST BE LIVING ALONE.. IN THE LONELY WORLD.
SO WHAT IF I FAIL BEFORE.. DON'T TELL ME YOU'VE NEVER FAILED.. =.= THAT'S RUBBISH.
YA YA I'M STUBBORN.. I'LL NEVER BE GOOD IN YOUR EYES. I'M JUST ANOTHER ROTTEN APPLE...



-MISSES-
current song list: 最近 by 江佳熹
p.s: sorry for all the vulgarities.. i'm just freaking pissed off.